508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
