3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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