Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if you like me you must not know who I am
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
