I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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