I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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