i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
