He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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