it hurts more in the daytime
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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