And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
