I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
