She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
