Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
false alarm. still invincible.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
