she woke up with a sticky ear
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
