Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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