you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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