Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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