apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
