You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
