even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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