hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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