You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize