Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
