i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
