I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
