Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
false alarm. still invincible.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
