There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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