What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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