Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
