i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize