Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
