it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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