She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
