Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
