she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
