I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
