So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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