Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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