I want to stick my p in your. b.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
