you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
