return my video game
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
