it wasn't lemon gatorade
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
