Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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