Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
