I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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