Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize