Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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