meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
