Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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