exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
