I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize