chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize