White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
