drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
