Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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