last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
