There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
