I want to stick my p in your. b.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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