why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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