i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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