I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do vagina's smell?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just invented taco cereal.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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