Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
