i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
