I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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