I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
