I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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