so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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